Czechia: Cursed to always live in interesting times…
Czechia, formerly known as the Czech Republic, Czechoslovakia, the Czech and Slovak Federative Republic, the Czechoslovak Socialist Republic, the first, second, third and fourth Czechoslovak Republics, the Protectorate of Bohemia and Moravia, and the Kingdom of Bohemia, has been a key part of the power plans of the Austro-Hungarians, the Nazis, the USSR and arguably the European Union. I have visited a few times over the last 20 years and marvelled as its faded grandeur was consigned to history and Prague became a draw for Americans, beer-lovers, hen and stag parties and historians.
But how could I recreate a visit to such a country in wintry Birmingham, and which Czechia should I focus on? I started by researching the Kingdom of Bohemia as I’ve always wanted to live a Bohemian life in Brum… but unfortunately it transpires that Bohemian debauchery is a misnomer. The “Bohemian lifestyle” has nothing to do with the Bohemia or the Czechs, and everything to do with the French presumption that Romany people came from Bohemia. I did not, it seemed, have an excuse for Free Love and pilsner all week. I accepted this setback and focussed instead on making plum dumplings which a friend had assured me were easy to make and delicious. Sadly however, the lack of ripe plums, combined with my lack of culinary skills meant they were hard to make and harder to eat. My father-in-law kindly tried one, but did not seem impressed…
Thankfully, that was where the set-backs ended, as I stretched the definition of armchair travelling and took a train journey to London to visit Pivo — a Czech beer hub, which also sells Czech food. We plumped for garlic potato chips and a camembert, though relooking at the menu, I can’t understand why we didn’t have the goulash. Perhaps I was distracted by the beer selection which reminded me of many nights sat drinking dirt-cheap pints of crystal-clear beer in wood-panelled bars.
On my last visit to Prague there seemed to be only one scruffy, vegan, hipster area left — Holešovice — meaning that the era of faded Czechoslovakian branding is truly behind us, but it can still be revisited through film. Virtually all of the films I was recommended turned out to be Communist comedies from the 1980s. What could be better?! So I accepted my fate and settled down to watch My Sweet Little Village, which unbelievably won an Oscar. It is the story of bureaucrats trying to steal the house of the most easily misguided member of the village and the eventual triumph of good over evil. It was like watching TV in my youth, like a Sunday afternoon sitcom, like drinking warm tea in a hot bath, it washed over me and for two blissful hours I was living in simpler times.
But it wasn’t all cold beer and communism, I also spent a strange evening drinking Becherovka a bitter herbal drink which tastes so bad that it must be good for something — theu claim it cures stomach aches. I have been recommended to try it as a Beton (Becherovka and tonic) and will do so soon.
Having already read most Milan Kundera books and seen the movie adaptation of the Unbearable Lightness of Being (set in Prague), and having read most Kafka books, I had to go back in history for this week’s book “Closely watched trains” by Bohumil Hrabal, which had a Kafkaesque absurdist feel to it. It is the story of young railway worker who is so desperate to lose his virginity that he has tried to commit suicide. Eventually his finds someone to pop his cherry and it leaves him with the strength to battle the Nazis. It is highly recommended by Kundera so I guess it Czechs every box. It is also a great reminder of the importance that Prague has always played in European machinations. Written before the Iron Curtain existed, this book still has the feel of a country at the edge of two different Europes.
And so I leave Czechia with a reminder that this is where the Polka (the dance not the dot) was invented. If you can bear it, you could get into the Czech spirit by listening to this playlist, as we finally say farewell to the C countries of the world and head off to Denmark!
